Coupled Effort
by Ranma-sensei
Summary: Things never go as planned. But when Shinji agrees to marry Asuka, some plans get totally derailed...
1. The Trouble with Espousals

Asuka looks up at the lacerated pipes that have just run out of coolant. "Tell them I've had a wonderful life." she says as the last pipe tears apart and leaves her to her gruesome fate.

Suddenly, there is a jolt and her descent stops. She smiles.

"_Wittgenstein, really?"_

"Dummkopf." The German leans back in her seat and lets out a long sigh. "Danke."

"_Imma doch, Liebling."_

* * *

**Neon Genesis Evangelion:**

**Coupled Effort**

**Chapter 01:**

**The Trouble with Espousals**

* * *

"Shinji, you there?" Asuka props herself up on the bamboo fence.

"What do you think?" Shinji gives her a flat-eyed stare.

"Marry me."

"WHAT!?" With a loud splash, Misato joins her ward on the fence. "If you guys think tha-"

"Okay." The boy's answer leaves the purple-haired captain frazzled.

"But... But, you..." Asuka slaps her on the back and grins.

"I know, you're still adapting." Her smile then grows kinky: "So, Shinji; is that thermal expansion at play or are you happy to see me?"

"Gah!" A red-faced Shinji dives down, obscuring everything below his eyes.

'_So easy to tease.'_ Asuka chuckles and reenters the steaming water next to Misato.

"Asuka, do you really think I-"

"I looked it up, Misato." The girl faces her guardian. "Following Second Impact, the ages of consent were lowered to 14 for boys and 12 for girls, both with consent of a guardian. So please..." She makes puppy eyes. "Will you consent?"

"I figure if I don't you'll just fake my signature again, so what the hell." Misato throws her hands up.

"Hey, I'd like to think I've outgrown such childish behavior." Asuka pouts.

The older woman grins. "That may be, but you both are still my babies of sorts." Her expression turns serious. "Are you absolutely sure?"

Asuka smiles. "Is my mother a crazy bitch?"

* * *

"Shinji?" Asuka props her head up on one hand and faces him.

"Hm?"

"Are you awake?"

"I am now." Shinji turns around to face her. "What's eating you?"

"Are we going too fast?" She sighs. "I mean, about marrying?"

Shinji chuckles. "All things considered, I'd more call it about time." He hugs her at the waist. "Don't you agree?"

Asuka pulls him closer, her expression sobering. "No, I mean regarding the others. Won't they get suspicious?"

The boy grins. "Why? I pilot a giant robot. What girl wouldn't dream of being my girlfriend?"

"Schwachkopf." Asuka punches his arm, then snuggles up close to him. „Come on, let's go to sleep."

* * *

"Pilot Sōryū."

"Yes, Wondergirl?" Asuka looks up from her lunch and over her spectacles.

"Why..." Rei Ayanami's resolve almost falters, but only the redhead notices, "is Ikari avoiding me?"

Asuka nearly chokes on a sausage. _'That idiot!'_ "Uh, I don't know?"

"Highly unlikely, Pilot Sōryū." The First Child stares down at her. "I am sorry, but since you are the woman Ikari desires I am fairly certain that he confided in you."

Asuka sighs. "Listen, Wo- _Rei_, I don't know what his motives are, and even if I did you should ask him, not me."

The blue-haired girl seems to consider that. "Thank you, Pilot Sōryū, I think I will."

Turning her head away from the leaving girl, Asuka's slip stares her right in the face.

* * *

"Pilot Ikari, state your case."

Shinji shuffles his feet nervously, the darkness around and the light directed at him obscuring the review board almost completely. "I desire to marry Pilot Sōryū, Asuka Langley."

"Motive?"

"Because I love her."

"...You are dismissed. This board will inform you of its decision."

Shinji salutes. "Sirs."

* * *

"Eh, marry!?" Hikari recoils. "Isn't that a bit early?"

"With our job?" Asuka snorts. "If we go slow, we'll be glad to have kissed before we die." She looks down, a touch of sadness in her voice. "I almost died in that volcano. I almost died _alone_. I don't wanna die alone. And..." Looking up, she gives Hikari a soft smile. "And I love him. Why risk losing what we could have for the sake of being proper?"

"I... I guess I never looked at it this way..." The pigtailed girl frowns. "Do you think Suzuhara...?"

"Girl, are you still prancing around him?" The redhead sighs. "Just talk to him, already." Suddenly standing up, she drags the blushing girl over to where the guys are having lunch. "Tōji, Hikari wants to tell you something. Kensuke, scram. Shinji, with me."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Don't 'Ma'am' me."

"Yes, Sir!"

"Depp." Asuka giggles. "Come on, let's give them some privacy."

"Um, Asuka..." Shinji rubs his arm as they go a little ways. "I think I mucked up my board meeting."

She strokes his arm reassuringly. "Don't worry. My board meeting is today, and Misato says it's really just a formality." Her voice drops low and she grins. „So bad?"

"Yup." Although blushing profusely, Ikari manages to get a jibe in: "But from what I hear, it's the same for you."

"Oh, you!" A beet-red Asuka starts groping for his neck, but he ducks away. "Komm sofort zurück, Du Schwachkopf!"

At her vantage point under a tree, Rei Ayanami raises a single eyebrow at the redhead chasing after a laughing Shinji.

* * *

"Pilot..." The middle board member rifles through a stack of papers, "Sōryū, it says here you desire to marry."

"True."

"For the protocol, please state the person whom you wish to marry."

"Pilot Ikari, Shinji."

"Miss Sōryū. According to Captain Katsuragi, Misato, you claim to love said boy, yet according to your file you have known him for barely a month, hardly tolerated him for even less. Explain."

Asuka sighs. "I... wasn't being honest with my feelings. In truth... In truth I liked him from the very first time I saw him on the deck of the _'Over The Rainbow'_."

"Still, the timeframe seems awefully short." The aforementioned board member narrows his eyes.

As does Asuka. "Yes, but... Dear sirs, do you know about love?"

"...Hrhm!"

The redhead grins like a shark. "I take that as a no, so take my word for it: love cares not for time."

"Thank you, Pilot Sōryū. You are dismissed."

Asuka salutes sloppily and sashays out of the holo-room.

* * *

"Ikari." Rei enters the cafeteria.

"A-Ayanami, hi." Upon seeing her, Shinji stands up and turns to leave, but finds his exit blocked by the very person who just entered from the other end of the room.

"I need to have a word with you." Still mostly expressionless, Ayanami crosses her arms.

"Um, I..." Shinji sweatdrops. He doesn't really know how to go about talking to... _her_.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Her being who she is, her question could just as well have been a statement.

"I, uh..."

"I am not trying to get between you and your father." The blue-haired girl studies him almost curiously.

As if there had been a keyword, Shinji suddenly flares up: "No, you're just his spoiled little girl; the daughter he never had. Who looks just like mom!" Behind the First Child, a familiar mane of red comes into view and the girl attached to it sighs in exasperation.

Rei recoils slightly at his outburst. "I was not aware you think that, Ikari. I am sor-"

"Save it." Shinji pushes past her and lays an arm around Asuka's waist, in answer to which an eyebrow twitches upwards, again. "Can we go home?"

"Yeah, all done." The redhead turns in Ayanami's direction. "See ya, Wondergirl."

"We will." Rei exits from whence she came and goes in the Medical Wing's direction.

* * *

"Ikari?" Kōzō Fuyutsuki frowns.

"It doesn't affect the scenario. It will only make him fight harder in the end."

"So?"

"Approve it."

"Very well."

* * *

"Pilot Ikari." Shinji huffs.

"What now, Ayanami?" He turns away, trying to reach the school gate, but again finds his way blocked by the person behind him. The bespectacled redhead at his side mutters something into his ear and continues on into the school.

"I am trying to understand your sudden hostility towards me." explains the blue-haired girl. Her façade of emotionlessness is visibly cracked and she seems agitated.

"I think I made myself very clear, _Aya-_"

"No, you didn't!" she breaks out, but immediately catches herself and retreats behind her battered mask. "You gave me reasons for your attitude, bu-"

"Look, _Ayanami_!" Shinji gets in her face. "I don't care what you want or why you want it..." He backs off a little, "But I really don't give a damn about it." Tears start forming in Rei's eyes, but her mien stays expressionless, although her lip quivers for just a second. "So would you kindly back o-"

"**SHINJI IKARI!"** rolls a thunderous shriek across the campus, "GET RIGHT HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Ikari starts quavering at the sound.

"I g-gotta go. Bye!" Looking like a frightened deer, he hurries into the school, leaving a shaken Rei Ayanami behind.

* * *

Asuka Langley Sōryū fidgets.

This morning, one Misato Katsuragi cheerfully woke her and Shinji by yelling and then casually asking how 'Snoo-Snoo' was - although she _knows_ there hasn't been any. _'Yet!'_ And then, after the spluttering subsided, she told them their petition has been approved.

So now, all Asuka can do is wait for the final bell... And she is _bored_. No, not just bored. She is _bored out of her mind_. _'Not like I don't already know all __this.'_ So she folds her arms on the desk and lays her heads on them, ready for a na-

"Damnation."

Although spoken as if stating fact, this simple word lets the whole classroom fall deathly silent as all eyes in the room turn to Rei Ayanami. They all recoil at the display of emotions they see: Sadness, anger, even fear.

The teenager simply stands up, starts for the door and grabs first Shinji and then Asuka by their necks while curtly snarling: "Angel. Shelter. Now." The Second and Third Child, respectively, are too stunned to really react. Only when Hikari runs up and hands Asuka her glasses does the redhead gain the power of speech:

"FRAKK!"

And, grabbing Shinji by the hand, starts running.

* * *

"I can't believe we forgot Matariel!" Speeding down the street with Shinji in tow, Asuka smacks herself in the forehead.

"You gotta admit, it's not like he's mem-"

"If you don't mind..." Ayanami overtakes them without effort and then turns around without slowing down in the slightest, "I don't believe your timetraveling problems are our main concern, right at the moment."

"Wait, _what_?" The German trips and almost falls, with Shinji smacking into a lamppost. "Rei, how d-"

"We need to get to the Evangelions." The First Child's voice carries without problems, although she is already thirty meters ahead. This is when Asuka realizes that she has stopped.

"Verdammt! Shinji, get up." Picking her dazed boyfriend up off the ground and shouldering him, she starts running after the albino again, this time at top speed. "Ayanami, wait for us!"

* * *

"_So, what's the plan?__"_ Shinji's EVA crawls right behind Unit 02.

"Well, first off, stop ogling my mother's ass." Asuka grins when Shinji turns green.

"_Yuck. G__ross."_ Inhaling deeply, Ikari tries to concentrate on the LCL's taste. _"Much better. __Now, seriously, what are we gonna do?__"_

Asuka turns business-like: "This Angel's AT field is laughably weak, so why not let Rei practice? Ayanami, you take point."

"_Understood.__"_ Rei's picture pops up in her vision.

"_You cannot be serious!?"_ Shinji's display almost jumps at her. _"This... __**thing**__ ended the world!"_

Asuka smacks her face and shortly panics before realizing she isn't wearing her glasses inside the entry plug. "Shinji, I swea-"

"_I object."_ Rei bursts out. Uncharacteristically grinding her teeth, she plows on: _"__I did not e-__"_

"_Oh, but you __**did**__!__"_ Shinji cuts her off and his girlfriend starts cursing under her breath. _"You made me __**God**__! What did you think would happen!?"_

There is a snarl and all pretense of control falls away as Ayanami's patience finally snaps: _"__Listen here, __**brother**__!"_ she practically spits the term, _"__Were it not for your __**frakked-up **__**EGO**__, I wou-"_

"_**ENOUGH!**__"_ Unit 02 kicks Unit 01 with enough force to kick it back into Unit 00's face. "Stop squabbling like rivaling siblings and **focus**!"

"But, she-" Shinji is petrified mid-sentence when Asuka makes a sharp 'zip your mouth' gesture.

"_Shinji, es steht mir bis hier."_ The Second Child holds the flat palm of her hand at the height of her throat. _"Wenn wir hier fertig sind, klärt Ihr beide das, verstanden!?"_ she snaps at her husband-to-be.

"I-"

"_Hast Du mich __**VERSTANDEN**__!?"_ Asuka's eyes speak pure murder.

"Ja, Schatz." He lowers his eyes.

"Gut." The redhead takes a deep breath and then kicks in the final ventilation grate to the main shaft. "Now be a good boy and hand Ayanami your rifle, then follow me out." With that she swings upward out of the tube.

Grumbling, Shinji does as she said and then follows her out, together with her blocking the shaft crosswise as Rei climbs out and gets into position.

"_I am in position."_

"Good." Asuka checks her data feed. "Fire at will." Just then the first of Matariel's acid starts burning through her EVA's sympathetic connection and she inhales sharply. "Damn it. _Now_, Ayanami!"

"_Firing."_ And three short bursts of gunfire riddle Matariel with holes.

"Well done." Asuka closes her analysis tool. "And now I need your command codes."

"_Why?"_ Shinji asks.

"Because, _stupid_..." she grinds out, "somebody and his sister decided to talk about repeating all this inside _their GODDAMN **ROBOTS**!_ Now give me the codes!"

"_...Okay."_

"_Sending code."_

The German grins internally. _'They're totally like twins.'_

* * *

"Good job, guys!" Misato claps her hands together as the three teenagers climb out of their plugs. "Debriefing will be tomorrow, seeing as we're still mostly without power. Your phones should be working fine, though." She then clasps her hands apologetically. "Sorry, but you'll have to walk home; I gotta oversee the cleanup."

"It's alright." answers Asuka when she is finished vomiting most of the LCL out of her lungs, "We'll walk Wondergirl home." The captain smiles at that.

"Thanks." The redhead snorts, some LCL still stuck up her nose.

"Yeah, yeah." she mutters. "But you better thank me only after you're sure I don't kill them both before we get there."

"Ooookay then." Misato sweatdrops. "Off you go, kids."

* * *

Asuka sighs contentedly as the warm water from the shower pours down on her skin and mingles with the soap to rid her body of the last bit of this damn tang. "Sorry, Ayan-... Can I call you Rei?" she says over the sounds of sponging down and washing of hair in both their stalls.

"You may." comes the again quite emotionless sounding voice of her... sister-in-law? _'Now, __**that's**__ gonna take some gettin' used to!'_

"Rei..." she starts again. "I'm sorry for how Shinji treated you back there. I should have interfered earlier."

"It is not a problem." says Rei as she opens Asuka's stall door. The German raises an irritated eyebrow, but merely sighs and turns the water off. "But this is not the place to discuss any of that."

"We really gotta work on your social skills, girl." Asuka says as she accepts the towel from the albino.

* * *

"So..." Asuka clasps her hands behind her back. They left the NERV complex ten minutes ago and are now headed for the blue-haired girl's apartment building. "What gave us away?"

"You mean aside from the fact that you behaved differently, the last time around?" This gets Rei a double-take. And another one, just to be sure.

"Huh." The Second Child grins. "Ayanami made a joke. The world's gonna end."

"Yeah, great." mutters Shinji, pouting and hands in his pockets, "Give her ideas, now." This earns him a dope-slap and he shuts up.

"Don't listen to him, Rei. He just blames you for his being a wimp in the past." Asuka inhales deeply. "Ah, being a teenager again." This earns _her_ a double-take. "What?"

"_How_ old are you?" Having let her mask slip off once they were out of sight of NERV, Ayanami now looks and behaves almost like a normal girl. Which makes it even more jarring for the redhead to be asked her age, but she shakes it off.

"Twenty-two to -four, we're not really sure. But when you're the only people left on the goddamn planet, it doesn't really matter, now does it?"

"Nonononono." Rei shakes her head in shock and utter disbelief. "This cannot be. My sending my own spirit back in time was at the very pinnacle of the Impact, mere seconds before control shifted to Shinji. The ripples cannot have gone so far. I was estimating a year, two at the most."

"Well then, _Doctor_ Ayanami..." Asuka turns around and crosses her arms over her chest while going backwards, "How come, then, that we are here?"

"_That_, I do not know. What I do know, however..." the First Child points forward, "is that we have arrived at my lodgings."

Asuka stops and half-turns, then arcs a dubious eyebrow at the building. "_This_ is where you live?"

"Yes. You seem uncomfortable with that fact." Rei studies her face curiously.

"Uncomfortable? UNCOMFORTABLE!?" Asuka very nearly starts hyperventilating as her temper flares up. "Rei, these accommodations are _every kind of __**wrong**_!"

"Wait 'till you see her apartment." mutters the still sulking Shinji under his breath while the three of them ascend the stairs.

"What did you just say!?" Torn between disgust at the rundown building and immeasurable anger at the Commander, the bespectacled girl feels the sudden desperate urge to fling her boyfriend into the next wall...

Which she promptly does when Ayanami opens the door.

"What _the hell IS WRONG __**WITH YOU!?**_" she screams at the motionless heap of limbs three meters down the hallway and then whirls around. "Rei!" The albino stands to attention, genuine fear in her eyes. "Pack your things. You're moving in with us." Ayanami nods dumbly and hurries inside to comply.

"Seriously..." mutters the fiery redhead as she flips open her cellphone. Typing speed dial number Three on it, she slowly walks into the apartment and her face screws up in disgust. "Yeah, Misato? Ayanami's place is a dump." She sighs angrily when Misato says something. "No, of course not. Because a dump's **cleaner**! Now listen: Since she can't live here, she's gonna move in with us. What? No, that's not a problem." She grinds her teeth at another question. "No, I said it's _not a PROBLEM!_ Now make it happen!" she shouts into the receiver, then snaps the phone shut. "You done?"

Rei nods timidly, a small briefcase clutched to her chest. Asuka raises another eyebrow.

"Girl, you got _a lot_ to learn..." She sighs, takes the briefcase and turns around. "Ah, awake again? Here, take this." She flings it at Shinji, sending him tumbling back to the ground. "Vollidiot." she grumbles as she steps over him.

* * *

"You can have this room." Asuka slides the door open and clicks the lights on. "Sorry, but it doesn't have a window."

"A window will not be necessary." Rei enters and lays the briefcase down on the bed. "Is this the room Ikar- my brother dwelt in?"

"Yeah." The redhead starts rubbing the back of her neck and grins nervously. "At least after I... kinda... tossed him out of the other one." A grumbling from across the hall wipes off her grin. "And I might do it again shortly." she grinds out.

"May I..." Ayanami falters, drawing Asuka's attention away from Shinji. "May I inquire as to why you are wearing glasses?"

"You may." Asuka smiles. "And don't be so formal; just ask away. As for the glasses, I'm myopic."

"I know of that fact. Let me clarify, Pilot S-"

"Asuka."

"...Miss Asuka, why are you wearing glasses instead of your usual contact lenses?"

The German shakes her head. "**Miss** Asuka? Seriously?" She throws the albino an amused look. "As for the contacts, I can't stand wearing them, anymore."

"But, your looks are important to you, are they not?" Rei is surprised to get a shake of the head in answer.

"When nine superpredators leave you with only one eye and a whole load of scars, you sorta learn to appreciate the conveniences of life." Asuka leans against the doorframe. "That's an awfully condensed answer, but to elaborate on my first reply: I never liked my lenses. I only wore them because I thought that if I don't, I won't be considered pretty and therefore appreciated." She smiles wistfully. "Silly, isn't it?"

Rei considers, then shakes her head. "A very comprehensible thought for a thirteen-year-old girl."

"Rei..." Asuka fixes her with a stern gaze. "You obviously read my file; tell me anything in there is normal."

"Well, you... wanted to be loved by your mother?" A snort answers the blue-haired girl.

"Yeah, and it went downhill from there." She kicks off from the frame and turns to leave, but stops and half-turns back to Rei. "Welcome in your new home, sister-in-law." She gives her a toothy grin and then slides the door shut.

* * *

"I'm home!" Misato slides her shoes off.

Asuka peaks her head into the hall. "Welcome back, Misato. Dinner'll be ready soon."

The captain waves her off. "No sweat." Strolling into the kitchen, she opens the refrigerator, grimaces and closes it again. "I hate you." she intones dully.

"You can thank me later." Asuka hands her a cup of coffee. "Now sit down and stop sulking."

Misato sighs and takes a cautious drag. "So, how bad was it?"

The redhead wipes her hands on her apron and crosses her arms. "Bad isn't the word I'd use." Just then Ayanami enters from the living room and she asks: "Honestly, Rei, didn't you think to clean your place at all?"

Rei stops short and gives her a confused look. "I did not think it necessary. It was agreeable."

Asuka gives her an exasperated look. "Agreeable? **Agreeable!?** That place was a pigsty filled with nothing but concrete, trash, and fifty pairs of white underwear."

"I object. Some of my underwear is mauve."

That leaves Asuka frazzled. "Some of your... RRRRRAAAAAAGH!" She whirls around. "Shinji! I have no idea why you were so frakking worked up over your father not raising you, when clearly the only result of Commander Ikari trying to raise a child is this... this... this apathetic Misato!

Misato chokes. "Hey!"

Rei raises a hand. "Question."

Asuka's eyebrow shoots up. "Yes? And don't raise your hand, we're not in school."

Ayanami blushes and asks: "Does this mean Shinji is Dr. Akagi?"

The redhead stops short. "What?"

Shinji turns around away from the stove. "Wait, why do I have to be Dr. Akagi?"

The albino almost smirks. "You're the belligerent sibling figure. It only makes sense that you would be her."

The boy swallows at what he is about to ask: "Doesn't that make Asuka Kaji?"

Asuka's jaw drops. "Wait, hold on just a second..."

Rei ignores her and answers: "I've seen Mr. Kaji engaging in flirtatious actions with Dr. Akagi, so it is possible."

The redhead huffs. "I'm not Kaji. Well, OK, maybe I'm a little bit...

Shinji obviously finds enjoyment in tormenting his spouse, unwanted sister or not. "That makes Hikari, Kensuke, and Tōji the Bridge Bunnies, I presume?"

"Of course. Kensuke is fitting of Houyga."

"HOLD IT!" Asuka spreads her arms in desperation and both siblings fall silent. "This is a distraction. Rei's trying to lead us away from the fact she's a slob."

"Commander Ikari said I was fine." Rei's eyes show signs of defiance.

The German lays a hand to her face and shakes her head. "And the fact that Shinji is apparently the only person in his family that isn't. Come on, let's get dinner done before I go ballistic."

* * *

"Ikari, you've got to see this." Fuyutsuki enters the Commander's office.

"Hn?" Gendō looks up from the holographic screen, a note of weariness showing through his façade.

"Here." The Sub-Commander pushes a spot on the desk to reveal USB connectors and attaches a thumb drive. "These are the internal logs of Units 00 through 02, and they are all blank."

Ikari forms a bridge under his nose. "Do we know who tampered with them?"

"Unknown, but I presume it may either be Captain Katsuragi or the Second Child."

"It is the Second. The Captain's abilities are negligible." A small grin forms. "Have Akagi look at the files. Maybe she can restore some of it."

Fuyutsuki raises both eyebrows. "Wouldn't that be less than wise? What if she was the one?"

"Highly unlikely, dear Professor. Besides, who else can we trust?" Gendō Ikari then leans back in his chair. "Dismissed."

Kōzō Fuyutsuki sighs and makes for the door. "I still deem this a risky idea at best."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks to LordsFire for reviewing the scene about Rei's move into the apartment and CodyFett for suggesting the scene about her being a slob.

I was planning to have each chapter conclude with an Omake, but I don't really have any ideas at the moment. :P


	2. Paying the Bride-Price

Ritsuko Akagi frowns. Two days ago, the Sub-Commander brought her three completely empty logfiles to check, and now there are irregularities in the Dummy Plug's behavioral patterns. This day is going to hell _fast_.

Entering the Dummy System's main chamber, she touches a symbol on her tablet to turn on the lights. Surely, the only possible explanation for the system's failure lies in the connection, as the clones are totally mindl-

"Hello, Doctor Akagi." Fourteen pairs of eyes blink at her from inside the holding tank. "How has your day been?"

A handheld computer clatters to the floor.

* * *

**Neon Genesis Evangelion:**

**Coupled Effort**

**Chapter 02:**

**Paying the Bride-Price**

* * *

"Mrnng." Wrapped in her blanket and looking as if she has been drinking for three whole days, Misato Katsuragi falls into a chair across from a disheveled-looking Rei Ayanami.

"This morning is not good." the albino groans. "What does sound-proofing cost?"

"Good morning!" Asuka almost skips into the kitchen and starts fetching the cooking utensils.

Shinji follows closely behind her, but stops short on seeing the miserable piles at the table. "What happened to you two?"

"You." Rei holds her head in her hands.

"Oops." Asuka snickers her blush away and starts the coffee machine. "So, anyone up for breakfast?"

* * *

"Destroy them." Gendō Ikari forms a bridge under his nose.

"_But, Sir, they have achieved awareness!"_ cries Ritsuko Akagi desperately, her visage on the holo-screen one of horror.

"It does not matter." The Commander fixes her with a stern gaze. "They are useless. Destroy them and grow new ones." With that, he closes the connection.

* * *

"I understand." The bottle-blonde sighs. Then she fetches her tablet and types in a command. All lights in the room go out and the cameras turn off. "Bastard."

At a touch of the screen all LCL drains from the spine-chilling aquarium.

"Why?" fourteen voices intone.

"Because I feel like it." And Doctor Ritsuko Akagi opens the window pane with a command. "Now come on, we need to get you out of here."

* * *

"Thanks for letting us in, Shinji. This thunderstorm totally surprised us." Tōji says as he drips water all over the floor.

"Uh, where's Miss Misato?" Kensuke cranes his neck to see into the living room.

"Probably in the shower." answers Asuka as she enters the kitchen area and hands them towels. "She had a rough couple of nights."

"I can imagine." The nerdy boy ponders. "Must be a load of paperwork to be Operations Director."

"You don't know the half of it." Misato Katsuragi leaves her room and joins them. "Please remember your harmonics test today." Then she calls into the living room: "You too, Rei."

"I will." comes the monotone response.

"Wow!" Kensuke bows. "I mean, congratulations on your promotion, Major!"

"Yes, from me, too."

Asuka nudges Shinji and he nods. "Say, you two..." she then says, "Wanna come to the promotion party?"

"Yeah, of course!" both boys stand to attention at the prospect of a party.

"Alright then." The redhead fetches the three lunches from the kitchen table and tosses one to Shinji. "Rei, come on, we're gonna be late."

Ayanami leaves the living room and catches the thrown lunchbox. "Thank you." Ignoring her brother's uneasy look, she brushes past him and continues down the hallway.

Shinji opens his mouth, but a slap on the back of his head stops any remark he might have made. He instead sighs. "Yes, dear."

"Good." Asuka then follows the blue-haired girl.

"Married couple." whispers Tōji to Kensuke as they enter the hall.

Shinji rolls his eyes. _'You'__d be surprised__.'_

* * *

Ritsuko gives a worn-out sigh as she closes the door to her office from outside. It has been hell getting the girls even there. _'I wonder how I'll get them ou-'_

"Chief?"

"GAH!" Akagi flings herself flat against the wall. Then she sees who almost gave her a heart attack. "Maya, don't do this to me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Maya Ibuki blushes in embarrassment. "I only just noticed that the cameras in the Dummy Plug core's chamber are offline and wanted to let you know." Something flashes on her tablet and she hums irritatedly. "And now those in your office aren't working, too... Chief, is there-?" She stops cold when Ritsuko grabs her and pulls her inside the office.

"Hello, Doctor Ibuki."

The young woman's eyes roll up and she faints. Akagi just sighs.

"Girls, what did I tell you about talking in sync?"

* * *

"Aida, Kensuke."

"Here."

"Ayanami, Rei."

"Here."

"Horaki, Hikari."

Shinji drops his chin into his hand. This is going to be a long day.

"Kanai, Zorthy."

"Here."

And yet it started so good...

"Ozuno, Tsubame."

"Here."

It'll begin _any_ moment, now.

"Sōryū, Asuka."

"Here."

"Sōryū, Shinji."

The teacher hasn't even finished reading the name when all hell breaks loose and the classroom erupts in chaos. Hikari finds Asuka's gaze and gives a helpless shrug as everyone else converges on Shinji.

* * *

"Ow..." Maya Ibuki gingerly touches her forehead. "I had the weirdest dream."

"I'm afraid you didn't."

Turning around in the chair she's apparently sitting in, the technician's eyes widen considerably. Before her stand her mentor, arms crossed, and... _'fourteen Ayanamis!?'_ "Wha-"

Ritsuko Akagi raises a hand to silence her. "Maya, you can't tell anyone of this." Waiting for her apprentice to nod, she then continues: "These girls..." She motions to the Reis behind her, "are clones of Rei Ayanami and were the core of the Dummy Plug."

The other woman gapes at her. Then, suddenly, she bolts out of the seat and makes for the door. Before she reaches it, however, one of the clones slides in front of it and spreads her arms, sporting a frenzied expression. "No one endangers the Mother!" she shouts, scaring Maya so much she falls on her behind.

"Ah, ah..."

Ritsuko waves her hand dismissively. "It's okay. She won't endanger me, girl."

"Michaela."

"Excuse me?" The doctor gives her a puzzled look.

"I have decided that I want to be called Michaela. I find the name... pleasing."

"Uh, well..." Akagi smiles. "Michaela, please help our guest up and sit her back down in my chair."

"The Mother wishes and it will be done." Michaela Ayanami pulls a completely stunned Lieutenant Ibuki up, tosses her over her shoulder and carefully drops her into said chair.

"As I was about to say when you ran..." The bottle-blonde thrusts her hands into her lab coat's pockets, "The girls weren't... aware until just recently." She moans in desperation and runs a hand through her hair. "When they showed signs of independent thought, the Commander ordered me to... _destroy_ them." Ritsuko forces the term out and then deflates. "But I won't do it." She turns a pleading, desperate, and impossibly weary gaze at Maya: "Please, help me save them."

At this moment, Doctor Maya Ibuki, twenty-four-years old, surprises herself. She knows, consciously, that she should be questioning her mentor, maybe even report her to the UN. But, she can't. As much as she wants to damn this woman for what she did, deep down she believes that Ritsuko hasn't really done anything wrong. All she can blame her for is doing the right thing and saving fourteen girls from sure death.

"What should I do?" she asks with a worn-out expression.

"Hack the Security System." Another clone steps forward. "Cameras are monitoring the whole facility, so our escape is highly unlikely to succeed and will surely endanger Doctor Akagi. Therefore I propose for you to hack the Security System and replace the existing video footage with a loop, with an allegedly scheduled shutdown for maintenance or a possible maintenance-related black-out as fallbacks."

Maya sighs dejectedly. Life was so easy when she woke up this morning, and now... _'Now it's just fifteen types of crazy.'_ She looks at each of the... Reis before her in turn, and then slowly lets her gaze drift to her superior. _'Mentor!'_ she corrects herself. The woman she thought she knew hasn't disappeared; she just turned out to not have told her confidential information – information she as her subordinate probably didn't even have the clearance to know. Can she really blame her? Even she, who has always been thinking of herself as a decent human being, has been looking away at times. How could she measure Doctor Akagi any differently? That would be applying double standards, as her grandmother says.

But at the moment she doesn't have the time to sort out all of her thoughts; fourteen girls need saving _now_, and she can help. Her face sets in determination. "Okay, let's do this!"

* * *

Shinji Sōryū sighs heavily. He has spent the last half-hour explaining why he married the Red Devil, and _now_ they want to know why he took her name.

"Why, obviously because I'm higher Class than he is." offers Asuka with a grin and then takes over the conversation. He just shakes his head with a smile on his lips. Her ego was, and still is, the most prominent part of her. _'But boy, if it doesn't make her attractive!'_

Sometimes he wonders why she chose him. Yeah, well, he knows what she _told_ him why she did; but can't it be that originally she was just attracted to a powerful warrior who turned out to only be a wimp with a nutty robot? Sure, it doesn't change the outcome, but still...

"Shinji? Yoohoo, Earth to Shinji!" A hand waving in front of his eyes and fingers snapping repeatedly bust him out of his ruminations.

"Huh?"

"Come on, dope." Asuka smiles at him. "We got a harmonics test, remember?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure!" Shoving his laptop into his schoolbag, Shinji jumps up and runs for the exit before anyone else can ask him any awkward questions.

* * *

Misato Katsuragi stops short as she enters the Pribnow Box. Ritsuko and her devotee are at their respective places (the former leaning over the latter's shoulder), but they look... disheveled. There is just no other word for it. Maya looks as if she has just finished an all-nighter, and her mentor is sporting a tousled hairstyle and dark rings under her eyes. "My God, what have you been doing all morning!?"

Akagi jumps up and turns around. "Uh, nothing." Ibuki, meanwhile, mumbles something incoherent and seems to have a dark cloud forming above her head.

"Suuure." Deciding to ask/tease her friend later, Misato turns to the screen showing all three pilots' faces. "How are you feeling, guys?"

"_We're fine."_ Asuka looks at her two friends, a mischievous expression on her face. _"Right, people?"_

"_Uh, yeah."_ Shinji gives her a curious look.

"_We are."_ Rei just stares on.

"_See?"_ Asuka now grins broadly. _"You'd better ask those two lovebirds, though. They've been sticking their heads together since we entered the plugs."_

Maya shrinks down in front of her console blushing brightly while Ritsuko shoots up, face red: "Now wait just a minute right the-" Then her mouth snaps shut and she looks down at her obviously unhappy subordinate. "I mean, I..." The redhead snickers and she sighs. "There's nothing going on."

The German breaks out laughing. _"Sure, tell that to- HEY, who turned the lights out!?"_

"Sorry, Miss Asuka." Maya says, suddenly turning all business. "Your ratio suddenly skyrocketed, so we had to abort."

'_Damn.'_ Asuka thumps herself in the forehead. _'Really gotta keep more control than that.'_

"So, what just happened?" Misato looks at Maya's screen.

"Well, basically..." Ibuki thinks for a second. "Basically, Asuka just opened up to the Evangelion's consciousness. Fully. We had to abort to avoid a... synchronicity incident."

"Synchro-" The Major's eyes almost bug out. "What, like the first pilot!?"

"Yeah, she- Wait, how do you know?" Ritsuko whirls on her friend.

"Uh, hello? Operations Commander?" Misato gives her an incredulous look.

"Right, that makes... sense." The fake blonde gives her friend a dubious eye but doesn't press further. "Well, that concludes today's test prematurely. Exit your Test Plugs, children." Three acknowledgments later she turns back around to the Major. "We really have lot to do, so if you'll excuse us..."

"Sure." The purple-haired woman grins at her and starts walking backwards, hands behind her back. "Do whatever you have to do. Don't let me keep you." With that she disappears through the door.

Ritsuko groans and turns to the Lieutenant: "Sorry for that, Maya. Could you analyze the Second Child's data? The Sub-Commander left me with quite the project to handle while he and Commander Ikari are gone."

* * *

Rei Ayanami casts a dubious glance over her shoulder. "Was it really wise to anger someone who is able to kill one barehandedly?" she asks Misato who just opens the apartment door.

The Major shrugs. "I drink, he juggles live grenades. To each his own, if you ask me."

Behind them, Asuka Langley Sōryū enters, her husband out cold and thrown over her shoulder. "I'll have you know he had it coming. Teasing me on and off was bad enough, but **that** went too far." She drops him unceremoniously onto the couch and then turns to Rei. "And it's not like I'd kill him." She grins briefly. "Hell, not even maim."

"Aw, come on, Asuka..." Misato shrugs off her jacket. "He didn't mean it."

"I know that." The redhead deflates and drops down at the kitchen table. "But sometimes he just pushes my buttons." Just then, the doorbell rings and her face falls. "Oh boy, we forgot the party. Someone wake him up, I'll answer the door. "

* * *

Doctor Ritsuko Akagi massages her temples. Whoever deleted those logfiles did a thorough job. The data before her is fragmented to a degree she has never seen before, only heard of. _'Well, there's no helping it.'_ With a sigh she goes back to work.

"_-__**ing**__ ended the world!"_ Now, that is curious. Most other parts she found contain single words like _"__**brother!**__"_ or _"__**God!**__"_, but this one makes even less sense than those. It was making more sense when she filtered out some fragments about the Angel's AT Field being weak – that is, if those even belong together.

'_Something is going on here.'_ she thinks, and suddenly it seems clear that this something involves all three of the pilots. Surely, that Sōryū girl must be the one to have destroyed the files.

"Hm, curious." One of the Rei clones bends over her shoulder.

"What is..." Ritsuko turns around and looks the girl up and down, "Molly?"

The blue-haired girl, like the other thirteen clones currently wearing a NERV-issue uniform but carrying a black bow on the top of her head, gives a nod towards the screen. "These fragments; they have been deleted, overwritten eighty-one times and then rearranged on the file table."

Akagi gapes at her. "Yes. How do you know?"

Molly shrugs. "It seems obvious. See these two fragments?" She points to the lower right. "These look the most promising."

"Um..." Isolating the files in question and running her analysis, the fake blonde asks: "Would you care to learn programming, Molly? I mean, if Maya agrees to teach you?"

"I..." Molly looks down almost timidly. "I would... like that."

Ritz smiles. "Well, I'll see what I c-"

"_Because, stupid: Somebody and his sister decided to talk about repeating all this inside their GODDAMN __**ROBOTS**__! Now g-"_

She blinks. _'Repeat what?'_

"_-irst off, stop ogling my mother's ass."_

'_Wait, how does she-?'_

"Mother Ritsuko..." Another clone steps forward. "I feel that we all owe you an explanation. But, please, don't be angry at my sisters for withholding information from you."

Not knowing what to think of all this, Ritsuko Akagi just nods dully.

* * *

"Where's Doctor Akagi?" Asuka cranes her neck around Kaji. "She was supposed to be coming with you."

The eternally unshaven man shrugs nonchalantly. "I asked her. Said there's some _thing_ she has to do. Wouldn't even let me into her office." He grins. "Sounded like she was, uh... preoccupied." This earns him a slap on the arm.

"Stop it!" hisses the redhead. "You know how Misato will take those little offhand remarks the wrong way."

"Sorry." Though still grinning, Kaji lays a hand to the back of his neck. "Force of habit."

Asuka manages a small smile. "Just don't do it again. Come on." With that, she leads him to the living room.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Misato slams her beer can down to the tabletop, only to have it snatched out of her hand in mid-motion.

"Misato, be nice." Shinji holds the can out of her reach as she makes a grab for it. "He's here because we invited him."

"Humph!" The newly-promoted ex-Captain crosses her arms and turns her nose up.

"Congratulations to you, Major." Ryōji Kaji bows down. "Better get used to this formal language."

"Yeah, you better, _Mister_ Kaji." A feral grin starts spreading across the purple-haired woman's face. "What with me being acting Commander and all."

Kensuke almost falls over backwards. "Wow, you're temporary Commander? That is **so** cool!"

"Congratulations!" Hikari Horaki blushes at her outburst. "I mean, I hope you find your temporary increase in responsibilities satisfying."

"Yeah, me too." Tōji smiles.

"Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it." Misato smiles - even more so as Shinji returns her beer.

* * *

Lieutenant Maya Ibuki runs. One-and-a-half minutes ago she has received a text message that told her to get to her Chief's office stat and also provided her with a one-use-only access code. But that is not why she hurries; rather, that one of the clones signed it.

Skidding to a stop in front of the door, she practically punches in the code and hurries inside. There, she almost falls over backwards as an anxious Ayanami blocks her path. "Miss Maya! Please come. Mother Ritsuko has some kind of episode."

"Calm down, Mariko." Another clone – Michaela, if she remembers correctly - stands up and steps away from Akagi. "Bodily she is fine. She only experienced some kind of mental shock, which I suppose is Martha's fault." The clone in question raises a single eyebrow. "Or Rei's." Michaela adds.

"What..." Maya kneels down in front of her mentor and looks her over. She looks frazzled and stares off into empty space, but apart from that and some incoherent mumbling, she seems fine. "What did you do to her?" Ibuki asks accusingly.

The clone named Martha steps closer. "We... told her the truth."

"About what?"

Molly steps forward. "About what she found in the logs of the three Evangelions." She indicates a console nearby and Maya sits down in front of it.

"_Because, stupid: Somebody and his sister decided to talk about repeating all this inside their GODDAMN __**ROBOTS**__! Now g-"_

'_Repeat?'_ The Lieutenant scratches her head. _'Can't be time travel, can it? Wait...'_ She takes in her surroundings: fourteen clones of Rei Ayanami, originally bred to be mindless spare parts for her but all of them aware; one Ritsuko Akagi sporting a mental shutdown over some undisclosed secret; and three giant robot logs with heavily fragmented contents. Tilting her head, she thinks: _'Sounds about right.'_ "Is Rei a time traveler?" she then asks aloud.

"Impressive." one Rei clone intones.

"Understatement of the year, Tabitha." another deadpans. "Doctor Ibuki, how can you accept all this so easily?"

Maya gives an exhausted shrug. "With all the things I learned since this morning, I don't think there's much to shock me, anymore." She sighs and stands up. "I suppose we should help the Chief."

* * *

"Say..." Asuka turns onto her side and pulls her husband closer. "Should we have told them?"

"I know what you're thinking." Shinji embraces her. "But we can't risk too many people knowing. It's bad enough that Misato and Ryōji know."

"I don't know." The German frowns. "We _are_ children. Nobody would give a damn."

The boy sighs. "That's true." He then grins. "Hey, maybe Misato can convince my father to cough up more than this measly allowance."

"Don't think so." Asuka sighs now, too. "Our allowance is stipulated by the UN. I doubt your father has any say in this." She then smiles wickedly and rolls on top, pinning him to the mattress. "Now, I think you owe me an apology for earlier."

Shinji gulps.

* * *

"WHAT!? Catch it with their hands!?" Ritsuko whirls on her long-time friend. "Are you crazy!? Even without running this plan past the MAGI, I can tell you it's absolutely harebrained! The probability of success on this one must be less than a half percent!"

"Relax." Misato waves her off. "It's not l-"

"Relax? RELAX!?" Akagi flies off the handle. "You're risking all three Evangelions on some idiotic hunch and you tell me to _**relax**_!? What is it you're smoking!?"

The Major sighs. "Look, Ritz, I'm not _asking_ you; I'm **telling** you, because you're the head of Project E." She then turns to leave the ladies lavatory, but stops and half-turns around. "I'm sorry, but you have to believe me that I am only doing what is my duty."

'_Yeah, right.'_ Ritsuko leans against a stall door. _'All you care about is your revenge.'_

"Mother." a voice from overhead exclaims.

Akagi jumps. "Kerowyn!" she hisses while seemingly looking into the mirror. "What are you doing in the ventilation shaft?"

"I am merely getting to know the layout of this base. To survive, one must know how to move about unnoticed."

The bottle-blonde groans. "Listen, please refrain from doing that, at least during daytime. And..." She looks upward for a moment. "Tell the others I'll be with you shortly. I need to ask you something."

"I will." Kerowyn's face diappears without a sound and Ritsuko relaxes a little.

'_I need a vacation.'_

* * *

"Doctrine states that each of you has to write a will. Have you done so?" Misato looks her three wards over.

"Well, none of us plan to die, but idiot boy and I sure did. Here." Asuka hands her superior officer two envelopes.

"Rei?" The Major asks hopefully.

"I... don't really possess anything of value, so I haven't written one."

Shinji snorts. "What would _she_ need a will for, anyway?"

Asuka slaps him in the back of the head – hard. "Rei, it's not just about your things; sometimes, a will can give comfort to the people you leave behind."

Rei just gives her a pained stare and turns to leave. "Then it still does not seem necessary."

"Rei, I..." The redhead looks after her in-law and sighs loudly. "Bravo! Gut gemacht, Blödmann." She turns back to Misato. "If there's nothing else..." Seeing Misato shake her head, she nods and follows the blue-haired girl out.

* * *

"This is how we'll do it." Ritsuko Akagi runs a hand through her hair. "So we'll need to get rid of Aoba and Hyūga."

Maya Ibuki just sighs deeply. Despite having seemingly aged a good couple years over the past few days, she still looks to be none the worse for wear; except for her missing cheery demeanor, that is. "Chief, are you sure this is wise?"

Ritsuko crosses her arms. "I don't see any danger in it. They're children; nobody would believe them if we're wrong." She lays three fingers to her chin. "Now, what do we do about Misato? I trust her, but I don't know how she'll react."

"Leave that to us." One clone steps forward and crosses her arms over her trenchcoat. "She won't say a word."

"Easy there, Hedda." Martha steps forward. "I'm sure you and Kara don't need to lapse into violence for her to keep quiet."

Kara sneers. "Who cares for the Major? For how he's treating sis, _'big brother'_ needs my violence far more!"

Ritsuko sweatdrops. "I'm sure this won't be a problem, girls." Turning to her subordinate, she asks: "And this will work?"

Managing a recently rare smile, Maya answers: "Balthasar assured me she can convince the other two to cooperate."

Akagi exhales sharply. "Let's just hope she can."

* * *

"Rei?" Asuka enters the swimming pool area to find Rei Ayanami sitting by the edge of the pool and staring into the waters. She sits down beside her.

"I have no-one." The albino hugs her legs.

"Rei..." Feeling that the girl needs a little reassurance, Sōryū puts an arm around her shoulder. "You have me."

Rei turns her head to look at her. "Why does my brother hate me?"

Asuka bites her lip. "He doesn't hate you. Look, he never got over this whole TI business. He just needs time, okay?" She smiles reassuringly. "Meanwhile, why don't we do our planned shopping trip tomorrow and let Shinji carry all the bags, hm?"

The blue-haired girl gives her a thin, tentative smile in return. "I would like that."

* * *

"Time until impact: twenty minutes." announces Maya.

Misato looks around. "Where's Hyūga and Aoba?"

"As far as I know..." Maya only half-faces her superior while always keeping an eye on the Angel, "The Chief assigned them some equipment to see over to Matsushiro."

The Major sighs. "I really wish we could manage without you, Maya. Sorry you have to stay."

"That's quite alright." The lieutenant gives her one of her trademark smiles. "If the children can risk their lives, so can I."

"Oh, don't worry about them." The Major grins. "They couldn't be in a safer place right now." _'Besides...'_ she thinks, _'They've done this before.'_

* * *

"_So, are you guys ready for this?"_ Asuka's cheery face pops up in Shinji and Rei's cockpits.

Shinji grins. "You know I am."

"I am ready." Rei takes a deep breath of LCL. "May we live to see another day."

"_Hostile inbound!"_ announces Maya Ibuki's voice.

Misato's face pops up in their sights. _"All EVAs, starting positions."_ Three Evangelions bend down and touch their fingers to the ground in the classic runner's position.

"_All data we have is highly unreliable, so you'll have to wing it."_ says Ritsuko Akagi. _"Everything depends on you now."_

"_Target approaching, range twenty-thousand!"_

Asuka sets her jaw as the purple-haired woman on-screen barks: _"EVAs launch!"_

Whirling up huge chunks of earth, the three Evangelions start running toward the currently projected point of impact.

Halfway to the spot she remembers the Angel targeting the first time, the redhead hears Ibuki gasp in shock. _"The target's AT Field type is changing. It's trajectory is flattening! Estimated impact point shifted to one-two-nine!"_

"Oh, **frakk** me!" With a thought, Asuka opens her onboard analysis tool, which only serves to intensify the sinking feeling in her gut. _'Damn, no time to fool around!'_ "I'm sorry, Misato. Shinji! It flapped!"

"_Understood."_

Before Misato has time to realize what just happened, Maya squeaks: "H-her synchronization rate just skyrocketed. Now holding at- holy shit, **threehundred-fifty!** And Shinji's jumped to... **twohundred-ninety-five!?** How...?"

"No time for this." interrupts Doctor Akagi. "Keep your eyes on the Angel."

"Right." Ibuki shakes her head. "Angel at ten-thousand."

"_Misato!"_ barks Asuka.

The Major lunges forward, both her and Ritsuko sliding into seats next to the technician. "Ritz, eight-seventy-three to nine-thirty-four!"

"Already on it." On the big screen, huge panels form a bevel for Unit 02 to run on, while platforms engage in Unit 01's path.

The Second Child's face pops up in Ayanami's field of vision: _"Rei, route six-two-one!"_

"Taking the freeway." The blue Evangelion, currently the slowest of the three giant robots, leaves the stream it was running in and switches to the aforementioned freeway which crosses it.

"EVA Units 01 and 02..." Maya sighs in relief, "have reached the target area. Unit 00 is lagging behind."

Rei shows a rare display of emotion by scowling. _"I am trying!"_ she exclaims.

"_Shinji, where's your AT __F__ield!?"_ Asuka cries frantically.

"_I'm still building it!"_ Shinji looks to be more annoyed than nervous. _"Sorry for being a worse pilot than you!"_

"EVA Unit 00 has reached the target destination." Maya leans back from her console. "Now we'll just have to hope they can stop it."

"We all do, Maya..." Misato clenches her teeth. "We all do."

An orange field of hexagons unfolds as the pilot of Unit 02 opens her mind more fully to the Evangelion. Bigger and bigger the field stretches out, finally coming in contact with Sahaquiel's own.

The first thing Asuka feels back through the sympathetic connection is **pressure**. More so than the first time she did it, but it _was_ Shinji doing all the heavy lifting, back then. Shinji's AT Field shortly joins her own and the pressure is all but gone.

The massive eye of Sahaquiel hangs above them blinking, as if in shock. Unit 00 skids to a stop and lifts its arms while unfolding its own AT Field, the combination of all three of them completely suspending the massive Angel. "Pilots Sōryū, I will hold him. Be quick, however, I will not be able to hold him for long." says Rei as Shinji and Asuka leap at the shining core of the Angel.

"Don't worry, Wondergirl. This won't take long." replies Asuka with a playful wink. She and her husband then grab on to the edge of the eye and Sahaquiel warbles a low moan.

As they drop part of their own AT Fields, Rei grunts heavily as she didn't expect the Angel's own to be so **heavy**. It presses down on Unit 00 as Shinji and Asuka make their way towards the core, forcing the Prototype's feet deeply into the ground. "HN!" she groans as the pressure increases the closer they get to the core itself. "Asuka, Shinji! Hurry, I do not know how much longer I will be able to hold it off."

Moving in synch, Shinji and Asuka are finally within stabbing range of the core. Their shoulder pylons pop open, and reaching up they grab their Progressive Knives, and swing. Only for some... thing to snap shut over it. It is a deep brown and looks almost like an eyelid.

"**SCHEISSE!**" screams Asuka. "Stooge, deal with this covering!" A muffled grunt is all the reply Shinji gives as he stabs his knife into the covering and wrenches it back.

Sahaquiel lets off an ear-piercing moan as its last line of defense is ripped away. A halo forming above it, the Angel starts to glow menacingly and the pressure bearing down on Rei and Unit 00 re-doubles. "Ahhhhh, so... much." Rei groans as Unit 00 sinks up to its knees into the ground under it.

"Goddamnit! Do it _now, ASUKA!_" crows Misato's voice in all their plugs.

Asuka Langley Sōryū, Second Child and Pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, focuses her rage into a fine point and stabs. "Take THIS!" she cries as her Prog Knife buzzes to life, seemingly powered by her anger. The blade slides through the first layer of Sahaquiel's core and as if in response, the Angel's glow begins to ramp up in its intensity. She pushes and the Knife flashes through the remaining layers effortlessly. "Get your AT Field up, Shinji!" she calls as the Angel's glow becomes blinding.

In Dogma, all feeds are replaced by static as a second sun ignites above the Geofront.

When the sensors are back online only half-a-minute later, Ibuki checks her console. "AT Fields were fully active. Only minor damage to all three EVAs. They are already returning to the nearest intact lift platforms."

"Good." Akagi feels a huge weight lift off her chest. "Pilots, report to Central Dogma for debriefing."

"_Understood."_ come three responses in synch.

* * *

"So, how were we?" Asuka leads her fellow pilots onto the Command Bridge.

"Very good." Ritsuko slowly claps her hands. "Actually, too much so. Maya?"

Maya Ibuki looks at her console's screen, then her cheeriness seems to fall away as she runs a hand through her hair and says: "Balthazar confirms we're locked down since the detonation, Chief."

The words have barely left the technician's mouth when Shinji sees a blur of movement in his peripheral vision. Before he has time to react, a fist races toward his face and he scrunches his eyes closed, expecting a punch that never comes. Instead, there is a dull thud. When he opens his eyes, he finds Asuka standing before him, having caught the fist of... _'Rei!?'_ Turning his head to the right he sees that yes, Rei is still standing beside him. Turning back, though, she is also standing in front of him, a snarl on her face as his wife still grips her fist.

"What do you think you are doing attacking _my husband_?" the redhead grinds out. Her opponent gives an angry yell and in an impressive display of martial arts launches both a kick and a punch simultaneously. Easily deflecting the knee and pushing off both the first and the newly blocked fist, she flips back and then jumps forward, catching her attacker still stumbling and landing a glancing blow on her shoulder. Unable to catch herself, the other girl stumbles further backwards and leaves herself open to another attack. Asuka darts forward and slams both her flat hands to the other's solar plexus. A barrier of orange light crackles into existence a mere instant before she connects, negating all but the kinetic push of her attack, the end result still being that the other completely loses her balance and drops into two pairs of waiting arms. Seeing her adversary being restrained, Asuka stops, but doesn't drop her ready stance, eyeing the suddenly fourteen clones of Rei Ayanami before her suspiciously.

"That's quite enough, Kara." Hands in the pockets of her lab coat, Doctor Akagi steps forward, with the result of the redhead tightening her stance and circling in front of Shinji. Ritsuko sighs and pulls her hands out, holding them up defensively: "I'm not going to hurt him. I just want to talk."

The faint click of a weapon's holster being opened reaches Asuka's ears and she half-turns her head to find Misato pulling out her sidearm and training it on her college friend. "Get behind me." She nods to her husband and his sister and they slowly edge behind their guardian.

"Ritz..." the Major starts, carefully sweeping her gaze over her... _'Sixteen. Just great!'_ opponents as often as possible without leaving herself or her kids unguarded. "Give me one good reason to trust you."

Any other day, Ritsuko Akagi would have smiled and just told her oldest friend why she could trust her. It isn't any other day, however, and so she gives a tired groan as she rolls her eyes skyward. "Look, Sato, what do you want? A blood oath!?" She snorts. "Hell, I don't even know if I can trust _you_! Or these time travelers you house." She observes as Misato's eyes narrow slightly at this little tidbit of information. Her voice rising, she continues: "So enlighten me! How in the nine hells can I make you trust me!?"

A voice cuts into her rant: "Are you still frakking the Bastard King?"

"What?" Her train of thought thoroughly derailed, Ritsuko turns her head to face Asuka, who smirks from behind Misato.

"The Commander." Sōryū's grin widens. "Are you still humping him to spite your dead mother?"

Ignoring the suddenly sick-looking Major that's pointing a gun in her direction, Akagi is torn between indignation and amusement. Indignation, because she loathes that part of herself – always did, really; amusement, because she actually finds it funny, in hindsight. "No." she says with a sudden chortle, "Even I have limits."

"What about these clones of Rei?" Asuka presses. "How come they're running around?"

"They are my limit." The bottle-blonde waves at one of them, and she steps forward, NERV uniform spic and span and her blue hair cut short military style. "But maybe they should tell you. Susan, if you would?"

"Certainly." Susan Ayanami clears her throat and starts recounting: "When Rei here..." She indicates the eldest Ayanami standing close to Asuka, "decided to frakk with the Dummy System, Lillith apparently deigned to awaken us and gave us souls. The hell if I know why, but the point is, we're here. 'course, old pedophile-beard decided we were _'tainted'_" She makes air quotes at the last word, "and ordered the Doctor here to destroy us. Guess what she did?"

Asuka puts a hand to her chin in thought. After several minutes, she sighs dejectedly: "Put your gun away, Misato."

Without turning her head away from the crowd before her, the Major raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"No." Another sigh. "But her story seems sound enough, and I doubt Shinji's father would go to such lengths to get at us. Besides, she's got at least as much to lose as us. So, put it away."

"If you say so..." Relaxing her stance, Misato Katsuragi flicks the safety on her trusty handgun on and then gingerly relaxes the hammer before holstering it. "What do you want, Ritz?"

* * *

**Omake**

"Hello, Doctor Ibuki."

The young woman's eyes roll up and she faints. Akagi just sighs.

"Girls, what did I tell you about talking in sync?"

Fourteen Rei clones turn to face Ritsuko: "That it was hilarious."

-Idea by _Cody Fett_

* * *

"Ow..." Maya Ibuki gingerly touches her forehead. "I had the weirdest dream."

"I'm afraid you didn't."

Turning around in the chair she's apparently sitting in, the technician's eyes widen considerably. Before her stand her mentor, arms crossed, and... a whole lot of Ayanamis. "Wha-"

Ritsuko Akagi raises a hand to silence her: "Maya, this is important. While I'm going to get these fourteen Ree to safety, I need you to find the other nine."

"Twelve." Ibuki interjects. "There are eleven Ree here."

Ritsuko groans. "Damnit, buddy system, why did you fail me?"

One of the clones shrugs at her. "Because we can't tell each other apart, either."

"Right." Akagi slaps her forehead and sighs. "Maya, hand me the permanent marker. If it works for Desty Nova..."

-Exchange by _Jonen C_ and _BadRoad_

(born from the fact that there are

around 30 or so clones seen in

episode 23 of the anime)

* * *

Shinji makes for the Changing Room's exit. Suddenly there is a yell of: "Lock the door." and the path is blocked. He turns around slowly...

...and realizes the room is full of Ayanamis. Who all crack their knuckles.

"Now, about this attitude you've got regarding Big Sis...And no, you **can't** run away."

-Scene by _taalismn_

* * *

Rei turns unbelieving eyes on Doctor Akagi: "You mean all the clones are now awake?"

Ritsuko nods: "Yup! And because they are your... 'sisters'... you are going to help me! Also, meet Michaela, Martha, Tabitha, Taura..."

At this point, Rei's brain has already thrown a runtime error.

-Scene by _Mandemon_

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

A great big Thank You to _LordsFire_ and _Dirtnap_ for helping me with a few scenes, and those two plus _Cody Fett_ for beta-reading the last scene until it was (mostly) IC. Please donate for their psychological treatment after the credits.

Not much more to say here, so I'll just post the Rei clones' names and traits:

**Michaela:** Strives to be like the woman who saved her life and save lives herself. Named after Doctor Michaela Quinn. By _/me_.

**Martha:** Socializes easily, but haggles like a professional. Kind of a team mom. Named after Martha Washington. Suggestion by _Cody Fett_.

**Sophi****e****:** Philosopher and existentialist. Taken from _Sophie's World_. Named by _Jonen C_.

**Hedda:** Gendō Ikari's daughter in many aspects; as manipulative and at the same time idealistic as the old bastard can be. She even tends to mimic him. Hubris is her main flaw. Uses two .38 double-action revolvers for the heck of it. Taken from _Hedda Gabbler_. Named by _Missingnoleader_.

**Taura:** Whatever the threat, when her loved ones are endangered, it goes down in a violent and gruesome manner. Likes frilly pink dresses – a lot! Taken from _Vorkosigan Saga_. Named by _samdamandias_.

**Mariko:** Considers carrying out her objective a matter of honor; if need be, she would let her S² go hypercritical to take down her assigned target. Taken from _Shogun_. Named by _grommile_.

**Tabitha:** Canon!Rei/Kei Ayanami turned up to Eleven. If her sentences exceed three words, the situation is going to hell _fast_. Taken from _Familiar of Zero_. Named by _Mandemon_.

**Kara:** Giving Suzuhara-kun a run for his money; drives like Misato all boozed up. She also considers little annoyances like sanity, vehicle laws, Newtonian laws of motion, inertia and gravity to be vague suggestions; even uses her AT Field for vehicular purposes. Taken from _Battlestar Galactica_ (Reimagined). Named by _Maes_.

**Molly:** Nerdy Goth with a lot of potential as a coder, has a serious but hopeless crush on her mentor, Maya Ibuki. She is long on good intentions, but short on good sense and not really a fighter. Taken from _Dresden Files_. Named by _GhanjRho_.

**Naru:** Hopelessly romantic and fiercely protective of her friends. Will geld you for thinking you're being a pervert; _especially_ if she likes you. She's a swot. Taken from _Love Hina_. Named by _Strypgia_.

**Agatha:** Constantly 'improves' on concepts that don't need improvement; a SCIENCE junkie. Don't give her coffee! Taken from _Girl Genius_. Named by _Terrace_.

**Cordelia:** Kinda scary; wisecracking even as she disembowels her opponent. Taken from _Vorkosigan Saga_. Named by _taalismn_.

**Susan****:** A brilliant strategist; badass boast is in her blood. Always assumes the worst possible outcome and therefore always has at least three contingency plans. Shows her disrespect for Gendō Ikari on a regular basis. Taken from _Babylon 5_. Named by _Maes_.

**Kerowyn:** Doesn't believe in ideals or _the Truth_. Always knows where the next escape route is. Even a toothpick can be a deadly weapon in her hands. Her motto is: "If you lose, you haven't been fighting dirty enough." Taken from _Valdemar Chronicles_. Named by _LDS_.


End file.
